• 讲真的，现在国外，比如说美国、日本等国家，已经开始推广机器人保姆了，通过ai控制的，可以做饭，洗衣，打扫卫生……，这比人要靠谱的多了。

    现代保姆，是袭人+傻大姐的综合体。

    空间上，哪怕是一般的大平层，别墅，都不可避免的导致保姆和主人生活空间高度重合，有重合，你就别指望能尊重和敬畏。

    工作上，保姆承担的是基本的家务工作，换而言之就是粗使丫鬟。

    红楼梦里的大丫鬟如袭人，紫鹃，平儿，鸳鸯等，她们的实际地位是管家，并不干具体的体力活，连开门这种不算体力活的体力活都不干，所以宝玉踹的那一脚才那么瓷实，因为理论上袭人不可能是来开门的人。她们的生活工作环境和主人高度重合，接近同吃同住，她们在管家之外，也做一些超出主仆之外的事情，比如袭人劝宝玉读书，比如紫鹃劝黛玉早早找老太太定婚事，比如平儿无限接近妾，甚至可以和凤姐吵嘴。

    Honestly, countries like the US and Japan are already promoting robot nannies. These AI-controlled robots can cook, do laundry, clean, and so on—they're much more reliable than humans.

    Modern nannies are a combination of a traditional female servant and a simple-minded, somewhat naive woman.

    Spatially, even in large apartments or villas, the nanny's and employer's living spaces inevitably overlap. With overlap, don't expect respect or reverence.

    In terms of work, nannies perform basic housework; in other words, they're essentially maids.

    In *Dream of the Red Chamber*, head maids like Xiren, Zijuan, Ping'er, and Yuanyang were actually housekeepers; they didn't do any physical labor, not even opening doors—which isn't considered manual labor. That's why Baoyu's kick was so solid—theoretically, Xiren couldn't have been the one to open the door. Their living and working environments largely overlapped with those of their masters, almost living and eating together. In addition to managing the household, they also did things beyond the roles of master and servant. For example, Xiren advised Baoyu to study, Zijuan advised Daiyu to arrange a marriage with the old lady as soon as possible, and Ping'er got very close to the concubines, even arguing with Fengjie.

    发现了吗，这个问题下很多人愤愤不平的东西，比如没有边界感，拿自己当家人，在这些大丫鬟身上，也有。

    红楼梦里的小丫头，婆子，她们就是实实在在的仆人，比如怡红院的红玉，也就是小红，她的工作就是喂鸟烧炉子，连进主屋的资格都没有，宝玉要喝茶，她跑进去服侍了一下，就被大丫鬟们打压和嘲讽，因为理论上，她没资格和主人在同一空间，哪怕宝玉渴死，也轮不到她去服侍。还有婆子们，比如宝玉生日夜宴，在外面一边热酒一边偷酒喝的婆子，再比如看人下菜的大观园厨房人等，她们一方面干着最脏最累的体力活，另一方面对主人家并没有实际的感情，能偷懒则偷懒，能捞钱就捞钱。

    Have you noticed that many people's resentment about this issue, such as the lack of boundaries and the attitude of treating others like family, also exists in these head maids?

    The maids and old women in *Dream of the Red Chamber* are indeed servants. For example, Hongyu (also known as Xiaohong) in the Grand View Garden only feeds birds and tends the stove; she doesn't even have the right to enter the main house. When Baoyu wants tea, she goes in to serve him, and is immediately suppressed and mocked by the head maids because, theoretically, she has no right to be in the same space as her master. Even if Baoyu were dying of thirst, it wouldn't be her turn to serve him. Then there are the old women, like the one who secretly drinks wine while heating it outside at Baoyu's birthday banquet, or the kitchen staff in the Grand View Garden who cater to different clientele. They do the dirtiest and most tiring physical labor, yet have no real affection for their masters; they slack off whenever possible and try to make money whenever they can.

    发现了吗，这个问题下另一些人不满意的东西，比如偷懒，偷食材，报花账，在这些小丫头和婆子身上，巧了，也有。

    红楼梦里几十个仆人伺候一个主子，尚且矛盾不断，现代家庭一个保姆伺候几个主子，怎么可能没有矛盾呢？

    而问题的本质，其实是保姆的工作和实质工作环境，相较于古代仆人（不管是大丫鬟还是婆子）并没有太大改变，但仆人和保姆的人身关系发生了天翻地覆的变化。

    之前的仆人，大多和主人存在人身依附关系，而现在，哪怕是自己从农村亲自找的保姆，也是合同雇佣关系，更何况大多数雇佣关系里还有个第三方劳务派遣。

    Have you noticed that the things others complain about regarding this issue—such as laziness, stealing ingredients, and falsifying accounts—are also present in these young maids and old women?

    In *Dream of the Red Chamber*, dozens of servants served one master, yet conflicts still arose. How could there not be conflicts in modern families where one nanny serves several masters?

    The essence of the problem is that the nanny's work and actual working environment haven't changed much compared to ancient servants (whether head maids or old women), but the personal relationship between servants and nannies has undergone a radical transformation.

    Previously, servants mostly had a relationship of personal dependence with their masters. Now, even a nanny personally hired from the countryside is an employment contract, not to mention that most employment contracts involve a third-party labor dispatch agency.

    所以结论就是，普通家庭要承认，雇佣保姆就是有很多矛盾，就是在考验你个人乃至整个家庭的管理能力，这一点不是靠钱能解决的。

    而富人家庭，他们的解决方法就是雇佣多人并设置管家，对管家一定程度的放权，让管家去管理佣人，严格划分主人空间和仆人空间，而做到这一点，空间上的最小单位是个两进四合院。

    如果实在不想读红楼梦，那看看电影小岛惊魂，虽然是恐怖片，但看看片里女主人怎么管理自己上门的佣人，也能理解。

    Therefore, the conclusion is that ordinary families must acknowledge that hiring a nanny involves many conflicts and tests the management skills of the individual and the entire family—something that money cannot solve.

    Wealthy families, on the other hand, solve this by hiring multiple nannies and appointing a housekeeper. They delegate a certain degree of authority to the housekeeper, allowing them to manage the servants and strictly separating the master's and servants' spaces. To achieve this, the smallest unit of space is a two-courtyard siheyuan (traditional courtyard house).

    If you really don't want to read *Dream of the Red Chamber*, watch the movie *The Others*. Although it's a horror film, you can understand how the mistress manages her servants.